Tools for Self Care: Writing a Letter to Yourself

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....one of the only forms of nonverbal communication we had was the hand written letter. People would sit down with paper and pen, take time to collect their thoughts, and write. Today, with the onslaught of communicating via email, text, and social media, letter writing has virtually become a lost and forgotten art. Communication is now a much more 'on the fly' event that continually invades our personal and professional space from every direction, instead of once a day from the local post office, and usually once a day when you get home from work.

Nevertheless, Steve Toepfer, a professor at Kent State, wondered if writing letters by hand would change how his students felt and behaved. His study, done in 2007, showed that hand written letters provide positive psychological benefits for the writer. Depression was lifted and relationships were strengthened, and that was just two of the outcomes. Other studies show that the receiver also gains benefits. Therefore, writing can be a twofold, valuable tool when used for self care while managing mental illness.

WHAT IS SELF CARE?
Take a few moments and think about owning a car. The better you take care of it, the greater it looks and operates, and the longer it lasts. You will need to keep it clean. It will consistently need gas. It will need tires rotated, balanced, and eventually replaced. You will need to take care of things like radiator fluid, oil, and wiper blades. There are many obligations, each different yet important. In order for it to run well, you must care for the car as long as you own it.

The same is true for you. You own your mind and body, and always will. Unfortunately, at least one study has shown persons with bipolar disorder can expect a shorter life span than those without. However, the World Health Organization (WHO) states good treatment, when followed, expands that life span. Self care is part of good treatment. Writing a letter can be just one of the ways you take care of yourself while living with mental illness. It's an easy form of self care because it doesn't require a scheduled event, like seeing your doctor or therapist. It's one that you can do when you feel up to it. And, takes less than an hour. All in all, it is a low maintenance effort with high benefit! Keep reading and give it a try!

WHAT YOU NEED

• About 30 minutes of uninterrupted time
• Paper
• Pen or pencil
• Envelopes
• Stamps
• Access to a copier
• One person that you can trust to follow your directions

THEME
Here are a few suggestions for themes. However, you can certainly write about anything that comes to mind!

• What would you say if you could talk to yourself as a small child
• What do you want to remind yourself to do when you experience hardships
• What are your strengths
• What are your goals
• What are your good qualities
• What are your passions
• Tell the story of a negative experience, what you did to overcome it, and what it meant to your life
• Why are you valuable as a person

WRITING THE LETTER
Decide upon a theme for your letter. Find a comfortable and quiet spot conducive to writing. Take a few minutes to clear your mind and prepare to let your heart dictate your thoughts. Do NOT skip these few minutes. Concentrate on the theme and what you feel. Then, write!!! Don't worry about neatness, spelling, grammar, or creating the next great literary work. Write what comes to mind. Remember, write only one  letter in your 30 minute time frame. When you are finished, you are ready to move on to the steps to send the letter.

SENDING THE LETTER
First, decide how many times you would like to receive this letter, and when. As an example, let's assume today is January 1. You decide you want to receive the letter three times, at one month (February 1st), two months (March 1st), and three months (April 1st).

Second, take the amount of envelopes that corresponds with the amount of times you want to receive your letter, and label the back of each envelope with the interval dates. Consult a calendar if needed. Using our example, you would write 'February 1st' on the back of the first envelope, 'March 1st' on the back of the second envelope, and 'April 1st' on the back of the third envelope.

Third, make photocopies of your letter so the total end amount of letters is the same amount of times you want to receive your letter. Using our example, you would make two photocopies so you have a total of three letters (two photocopies and the original).

Fourth, stuff your letter into the envelopes, add stamps, and seal (with a kiss is acceptable...after all, it is a labor of love!). Use your address in both places on each envelope. This ensures that as long as your postage is correct, you will receive your letter.

Finally, hand over and entrust your letters to a person you can depend on to follow your directions. The directions are not hard. Ask them to simply drop each letter in the mail on the date that you wrote on the back of the envelope! Have the person add the dates to their calendar, planner, and/or alarms so they don't forget.


Pen in hand,

Laura


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY!

TIP FOR THE DAY!
Mix it up! Write more than one letter. Follow all instructions except do not stuff your envelopes. Hand your letters and your envelopes to your friend and ask them to pick which letter you will receive on your chosen dates.

A Tsunami Of Raw Emotion - The Depressive State

Having bipolar 2 disorder is not the easiest thing I manage in my life. I'm not sure that I would call it the hardest either. It tends to feel like it though, especially when I am drowning in a depressive state (the low mood swing/period of bipolar disorder, which can be any length of time). It is difficult to explain how one feels during a depressive state unless you have a mood disorder, like bipolar.

I'm picky about words, and I'm not overly fond of the term 'depressive state'. It implies generic depression, and that doesn't begin to describe the ugly, dark and suffocated way I feel during a low period (I do not mean to minimalize depression outside of a mood disorder). A depressive state seems to be an endless pit of raw agony that eats down to my bones, while taking away my mental sight and leaving me in nothing more than despair with every breath. It's almost impossible to draw a breath and feels as if I am incapable of another. This description begins to describe my depressive state.

In January 2012, my oldest son almost died. Thinking back to it, even today, immediately brings me to tears and ignites fierce anxiety (I literally took a preemptive anxiety pill before writing this just in case). My boys are my world. Looking back, I now know that the events of January eventually threw me into a depressive state. I stopped sleeping. I became irrational (constantly checking to see if your 18 year old is breathing in the middle of the night is NOT rational, nor is rarely letting him out of your sight). I went cold turkey off medication just because I didn't like it. I cried all the time, but I couldn't explain why. I stopped eating. I started smoking again after a 19 year hiatus. I drank often and when I did, too much. Ultimately, I ended up in an inpatient stay and an outpatient therapy program for a total of 4 plus months.

During that time, I wrote furiously. Raw emotion in the form of words poured out of me like a tsunami. I wrote short stories and poems and dabbled in lyrics, all of it very dark. I learned to journal (thanks to my inpatient stay) and would write in it for hours about anything and everything. It was then that I wrote a poem entitled, 'in the Key of Blue' (ding, ding, ding...see blog name!). Now, I can't take credit for the title because a very dear friend came up with it after reading the poem (hi Drake! I love you!). But I definitely take credit for the words in the poem! So, 'in the Key of Blue' describes my emotions and how I see myself while in a depressive state. I would be lying if I told you I feel this way only during a low period. I struggle with these feelings every day. Depending on my 'mood', they vary in intensity. The more balanced my mood is, the easier it is to rationalize and dismiss my thoughts. I hope (but I don't hope...but I do hope, if that makes sense) we can find some commonality in the following poem:


in the Key of Blue
Cursed. A hopeless future
that doesn't merit the breath it takes.
Slow death. Destiny greedily met by the
God of Futility. A wasted life of heated madness,
bright star white. Searing rage. Shame.
The soul tormented with a desperate desire
to destroy what binds it. It chides and
endlessly tortures it's pathetic victim,
lost in the merciless hell of reality.
Nature's cruelly inept, chemical cocktail
leaves weakened and demented thoughts.
Feeling no worth. Seeing no value. Failure and pain
court each other in a crazed dance of unbalanced, mental lust.
Stench filled perceptions break the powerless spirit.
Cope? Succeed? Impossible! Accept.
Woeful disgust reveals itself as a horrific face,
twisted and disfigured. Don't look!
Shield your innocence lest you
become spoils of the insanity and
perversion that is me.


I've often wondered how others with a mood disorder feel in a depressive state. I also wonder how those without a mood disorder perceive a depressive state. Of course, in my catastrophic mind, my depressive state is worse than someone else's (hence 'I hope', so you prove me wrong, and 'I don't hope', because I wish nobody would feel what I do). I welcome comments from you that have a mood disorder about how you feel and think during a depressive state. I am interested in how we all differ. I also welcome comments from you without a mood disorder. Is this how you imagined a depressive state?

I try and verbalize my feelings to the friends and family I am fortunate enough to have for support. That list is very short, by the way! However, when I try and talk, no words seem to be strong or accurate enough to describe what a depressive state feels like to me. All I can tell you is that I am completely miserable and every feeling I have is an absolute reality of what seems to be fact for me. You can't convince me otherwise during that time and it feels like there is no possibility of anything changing. It is utter hopelessness. To say the least, it's not a fun day in the park...for any of us, mood disorder or not.



Standing shoulder to shoulder,

Laura



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY!

TIP FOR THE DAY!
Actually, two tips for the day!
I added a few tabs at the top and will add more eventually. Check it out!
I have the privilege of also blogging at www.pathsoflight.us/bipolarwinds. My introductory blog is published. Topics between here and there will always be different!