A Conversation About Suicide And Bipolar Disorder

Suicide attempts are a real concern for persons with bipolar disorder. It is estimated that of the suicide attempts in the United States by persons with mental illness, up to 70% suffer from major depression disorder and/or bipolar disorder. Not only is it, therefore, important to understand the warning signs preceding a suicide attempt, it is also important to know exactly how to handle the situation should you believe they are serious or they tell you they are going to commit suicide.

Why A Person May Want To Die
It is common opinion that committing suicide is a selfish act. In truth, this is true. Friends and family are left with overwhelming guilt and anger, wondering what they could have done differently to stop their loved one from such an act. Children with a parent that attempts or succeeds in committing suicide are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide themselves than other children. Marriages where a child succeeds in committing suicide often end in divorce.

Unfortunately, a person that attempts suicide can no longer see the act as selfish. For them, suicide becomes a last resort to escape what has become unbearable. They see no other option. Most suicides are an act of passion in the heat of the moment. Fewer are actually planned out, and usually by those that have attempted suicide before. However, the root cause is still one of two reasons.

A major traumatic event has occurred in a person's life such as financial ruin, loss of a loved one due to break-up, divorce or death, etc.

The constant struggle and pain of living with a difficult situation, such as bipolar disorder, has destroyed the mental capacity and reasoning of a person to a degree that they no longer want to live. They believe they are an unwelcome burden in other's lives and feel friends and family are better off without them. They actually are past the point of pain. They are mentally exhausted and numb, incapable of rational feeling.

Warning Signs
A person considering suicide is not likely to openly admit that fact. However, there are signs that this is where their thought process is headed, sometimes before they themselves realize or admit suicide is an option. The more signs a person shows, the more likely it is that they are considering suicide.

They may make comments such as, "You would be better off without me", "I just don't think I can do this anymore", "I am tired of living", "I feel trapped".

They may withdraw from you and/or activities they normally enjoy, isolating themselves. You may notice they begin to give vague answers when asked how they feel or suddenly stop talking or seeing you.

You may notice changes in their personal hygiene, no longer taking care of themselves as they become increasingly unconcerned with things around them.

They may attempt to give prized possessions away.

Their sleeping habits may change, either sleeping very little or too much.

They may begin to abuse alcohol or drugs.

They may express an interest in getting their affairs in order, or actually do it.

They may seem easily irritated or become more aggressive.

They may suddenly become calm and happy.

What To Say To A Person That May Be Suicidal

Let them know you care and you want to be there for them if they can or want to talk.

Let them know you are willing to listen without judgement and won't offer advice unless they ask.

Check up on them. A person considering suicide may not ask for help or call you as they get worse. They will take your silence as evidence that their reasons are valid.

Give them the National Suicide Hotline phone number - 800.273.8255 (800.799.4889 for deaf individuals). Encourage them to call so they can talk to someone else that is an objective, trained professional. Assure them they are still also welcome to talk to you.

Don't be afraid to gently ask them if they are considering harming themselves. Assure them you are asking because you care.

Never accuse them of being dramatic or selfish. Don't engage in confrontational conversation. Don't ask them to promise they won't and expect them to follow that promise.

What To Do When A Person Tells You They Are Going To Commit Suicide

Never ignore what they say. Don't tell them they are being dramatic or selfish. Don't engage in confrontational conversation. Do not ask them to promise you they won't and expect them to follow that promise.

Do not try to handle the situation yourself. Call their local police department (call 911 and ask them for the person's local police department so you can report a potential suicide attempt). When calling, tell the police you need to request a mental health check due to threats of suicide. Ask the police department if they have officers trained in handling mental illness crisis and request those officers are the ones dispatched.

If possible, remain in contact with the person until officers arrive. There is no need to tell the person you called police. The officers will handle everything according to protocol once they arrive.

Tell the person what they mean to you and how it would effect you to lose them. Encourage them to talk to you about how they feel. Name people that love them and would miss them. Talk about anything to try to take up time while officers are on their way.

Final Thoughts
To a person that has never considered suicide, the thought of taking your own life will seem unfathomable. Try to understand that to the person who wants to end their life, continuing to live seems just as unfathomable.

Tools for Self Care: Writing a Letter to Yourself

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....one of the only forms of nonverbal communication we had was the hand written letter. People would sit down with paper and pen, take time to collect their thoughts, and write. Today, with the onslaught of communicating via email, text, and social media, letter writing has virtually become a lost and forgotten art. Communication is now a much more 'on the fly' event that continually invades our personal and professional space from every direction, instead of once a day from the local post office, and usually once a day when you get home from work.

Nevertheless, Steve Toepfer, a professor at Kent State, wondered if writing letters by hand would change how his students felt and behaved. His study, done in 2007, showed that hand written letters provide positive psychological benefits for the writer. Depression was lifted and relationships were strengthened, and that was just two of the outcomes. Other studies show that the receiver also gains benefits. Therefore, writing can be a twofold, valuable tool when used for self care while managing mental illness.

WHAT IS SELF CARE?
Take a few moments and think about owning a car. The better you take care of it, the greater it looks and operates, and the longer it lasts. You will need to keep it clean. It will consistently need gas. It will need tires rotated, balanced, and eventually replaced. You will need to take care of things like radiator fluid, oil, and wiper blades. There are many obligations, each different yet important. In order for it to run well, you must care for the car as long as you own it.

The same is true for you. You own your mind and body, and always will. Unfortunately, at least one study has shown persons with bipolar disorder can expect a shorter life span than those without. However, the World Health Organization (WHO) states good treatment, when followed, expands that life span. Self care is part of good treatment. Writing a letter can be just one of the ways you take care of yourself while living with mental illness. It's an easy form of self care because it doesn't require a scheduled event, like seeing your doctor or therapist. It's one that you can do when you feel up to it. And, takes less than an hour. All in all, it is a low maintenance effort with high benefit! Keep reading and give it a try!

WHAT YOU NEED

• About 30 minutes of uninterrupted time
• Paper
• Pen or pencil
• Envelopes
• Stamps
• Access to a copier
• One person that you can trust to follow your directions

THEME
Here are a few suggestions for themes. However, you can certainly write about anything that comes to mind!

• What would you say if you could talk to yourself as a small child
• What do you want to remind yourself to do when you experience hardships
• What are your strengths
• What are your goals
• What are your good qualities
• What are your passions
• Tell the story of a negative experience, what you did to overcome it, and what it meant to your life
• Why are you valuable as a person

WRITING THE LETTER
Decide upon a theme for your letter. Find a comfortable and quiet spot conducive to writing. Take a few minutes to clear your mind and prepare to let your heart dictate your thoughts. Do NOT skip these few minutes. Concentrate on the theme and what you feel. Then, write!!! Don't worry about neatness, spelling, grammar, or creating the next great literary work. Write what comes to mind. Remember, write only one  letter in your 30 minute time frame. When you are finished, you are ready to move on to the steps to send the letter.

SENDING THE LETTER
First, decide how many times you would like to receive this letter, and when. As an example, let's assume today is January 1. You decide you want to receive the letter three times, at one month (February 1st), two months (March 1st), and three months (April 1st).

Second, take the amount of envelopes that corresponds with the amount of times you want to receive your letter, and label the back of each envelope with the interval dates. Consult a calendar if needed. Using our example, you would write 'February 1st' on the back of the first envelope, 'March 1st' on the back of the second envelope, and 'April 1st' on the back of the third envelope.

Third, make photocopies of your letter so the total end amount of letters is the same amount of times you want to receive your letter. Using our example, you would make two photocopies so you have a total of three letters (two photocopies and the original).

Fourth, stuff your letter into the envelopes, add stamps, and seal (with a kiss is acceptable...after all, it is a labor of love!). Use your address in both places on each envelope. This ensures that as long as your postage is correct, you will receive your letter.

Finally, hand over and entrust your letters to a person you can depend on to follow your directions. The directions are not hard. Ask them to simply drop each letter in the mail on the date that you wrote on the back of the envelope! Have the person add the dates to their calendar, planner, and/or alarms so they don't forget.


Pen in hand,

Laura


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY!

TIP FOR THE DAY!
Mix it up! Write more than one letter. Follow all instructions except do not stuff your envelopes. Hand your letters and your envelopes to your friend and ask them to pick which letter you will receive on your chosen dates.