Friendship and Relationship Gut Checks

They take never ending hard work. Add your bipolar diagnosis to that and things are immediately made harder for you. You will face, time and time again, the test of living through mood states. They create more than the expected complications in your friendships and relationships.

The most important friendship and relationship to care for is the one you have with yourself. Treat yourself with compassion and kindness by how you love yourself. You are usually your own worst enemy and abuser, worse than anyone else (a future blog will focus on how to go from being your worst enemy to your best ally).

DISSOLVING A FRIENDSHIP
The more you have an emotional connection to a person you are acquainted with, the more they move from being an acquaintance to being a friend. Dissolving an acquaintance is easy. Tell them you don't want to be friends anymore and wish them well. Of course, you could do as I may or may not have done. Ignore that acquaintance...

As for a friend, we will assume they at least know your diagnosis. So ask yourself honestly how well they support you. No relationship is perfect. But if you find yourself with a friend that is negative about you in any way, it's time to have a conversation where you say that your priorities have changed and you won't be able to continue the friendship. It is a true statement. You just made your mental health a priority. That should always be your priority. There is no need to explain unless pushed. Revealing less emotion is better. Be prepared. The reaction may not be what you expect. Some do not realize they are negative persons that want you you to as miserable as they are. Refuse to be baited by their negativity to justify your actions. Be ready to stand your ground and back away from the conversation for your own mental health, if needed. And, keep in mind that you are doing this for yourself and how they react does not have a reflection on you.

DISSOLVING A RELATIONSHIP
This involves much more emotion and therefore, is more complicated to go through. The more history you have, the more complicated it will be. The hardest to end is a toxic relationship. Synonyms of the word toxic include deadly, dangerous, and poisonous. If I gave you candy, would you eat it when I told you it was poisonous? Of course not! But by allowing yourself to mentally digest toxic behaviors, you are eating that candy (a future blog will focus on how to leave a toxic relationship).

You have allowed a negative person a place in your life. And you deserve to be free of negativity. As a matter of fact, your wellness depends, in part, on how much negativity you allow in your life.

When you end the relationship, you need to be prepared for the fact that the reaction is probably going to be negative. Use your tools. You have to be assertive, calm, and remember their reaction is a reflection of them and not of you. You are cleansing for the number one person in your life. You. If the relationship is long standing, you may lose other people also. This may include people like in-laws and friends. However, those that do not support you or your decision are not positive and supportive like you need in your life. Ignore the urge to try to explain yourself to anyone! This is your life. You are in charge of your happiness. Having bipolar, you need all the positive you can fit into your life.

To balanced and productive days my friends,

Laura