How I Caught My Depressive State

I am hopefully on the upside of a depressive state and thought I would share with you what has happened. About 2 months ago, I saw my psychiatrist as scheduled. I had been stable for 6 months, maybe more. She brought up the subject of my Latuda.

It seems Latuda can cause problems with your liver and kidneys. My pyschiatrist does blood work every 6 months to check. Mine has always come back normal, until this time. My kidneys showed some strain. So she recommended I lower the dosage. I started back on cymbalta 6 minths ago and lost over 20 lbs. My weight was low enough that she thought my kidney function would return to normal if I lowered the dose and she felt I wouldn't have any trouble with my moods.

I thought all was going pretty smoothly until about three weeks down the road. Then I began to notice I was starting to worry over nothing. I felt guilty and had self doubt about things I would normally handle. A couple days is all it took to begin to spiral. I started wanting to die. Everything irritated me. I just wanted to sleep. I didn't want to eat. Anxiety, that I hadn't experienced in a year, returned. I wanted out of my skin. I stopped caring for my home. My work was effected.

It didn't take long to spiral once it started. A week at most.  I called my psychiatrist the third day I felt like I wanted to die. She put me right back on the previous dosage of Latuda.

That was 4 weeks ago. It hasn't been fun. I felt some immediate benefits within three days.  I still had to ride the wave of a depressive state of though. I'm not through it yet. My anxiety keeps me in knots and nauseous. I have lost more weight. I still feel irritated by everything. But, I learned something.

I learned how it started. I was diagnosed in 2007 and have been in therapy most of the time since. Yet, I have never caught a depressive state as it was happening. My last depressive state lasted over a year and ended with a hospital stay.

So, although it hasn't been easy, I have a lot to be proud for. Hopefully, I can be more proactive in the future with mood swings.

THE POINT
Consider a mood log. I realized I had been subconsciously monitoring my mood in my mind. A mood log can be effective. How you use it is just as important though. There are several apps available for both iPhone and Android. However, I find them lacking in detail. I can't manage my mood by clicking on scores or options like "happy" or "sad". I figured out my depressive state with more vocabulary. I plan to log my moods in my journal from now on.

Depressed is a general feeling. It can mean a lot. I have copies from two outpatient programs, but a Feelings List is very useful. It gives you several categories of feelings. Use those to write down how you feel each day. Track it. Hopefully you can become more proactive too. For an example of a Feelings List, please click here.

To balanced and productive days my friends,

Laura