The Dreaded Bipolar Conversation With Work

40% of those of us with bipolar find themselves unable to hold down a job. For the rest, there is probably going to be at least one time when you feel like you may need to discuss the very personal topic of your mental illness with someone at work. So, when is the best time and how can you best handle the situation?

TIMING
There is no magical time to have this conversation. The success of the it rests largely with the type of personality you have to speak with. So, with that said, it is important for you to remember the results are a reflection of them, and who they are in that moment, not you.

HANDLING IT
You have responsibility in the conversation. Approach is everything. An open mind is helpful. The most important piece of advice I have to offer; do not wait until you are in a full blown depressive, and or a hypomanic/manic state. It will take training to learn how to act early on a potential serious mood swing. And the best way to do that is to get to know your triggers (a future blog will focus on identifying triggers). That takes patience. It also takes forgiveness of yourself if you don't succeed every time, and finally, it takes practice. I start talking to my support group before I get unstable. I know because I log my moods. They help. All of this is a big positive for keeping mood logs if you are thinking about trying.

• Pick a time you are most stable. If you feel unstable, the mood log can show a pattern if you log your mood often.
• Look for a pattern in your moods and choose the best time you can. 
• Pick a comfortable space for both of you. 
• Speak in a soft, yet firm voice. 
• Choose your words carefully. Use the words "we" and "us instead of "I" or "me". 
• Look for signs that the person isn't understanding, getting offended, or irritated. Folded arms in front is a sign off them closing off. 
• Do not let the person sit while you stand. It may make the person more defensive because your standing can appear dominating. Both of you should be comfortable and sitting sown. 

If you aren't well received, it may be time to think about moving on. You were looking for a job when you found this one. Remember!!! You are in charge! You know more than they do about bipolar and consider this an opportunity to educate them. I just went through this and want to share what I said. I have this memorized.

"I have bipolar. While it can't be cured, I can manage it with effective medication, diet, exercise, sleep and therapy. Bipolar is a illness, a brain disease.  I did nothing to get this disease. Neurons and receptors started firing and receiving at less 100% for no proven reason. That causes an imbalance of the chemicals that control mood swings that I have no choice but to endure. I don't expect different treatment and I am responsible for coming to you when I feel my mood changing so we can come up with a game plan that won't have work suffering unnecessarily. I want to reach out to me if you have concerns or questions."

Unfortunately it wasn't well received. If that happens, you will have to decide if the job is salvageable or not.

To balanced and productive days my friends,

Laura